anyone want to pay off my student loans up front and i promise to pay you back? (that is if you want me to, of course...jk) but i'm looking for someone who will not charge me interest? pretty please? with a strawberry on top. make that chocolate covered strawberry.
darn loans with interest are not going to make my life so fun. all my income will go to paying off my student loans for the rest of my life.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
i wore them.
did i rock them?
i wouldn't go that far.
but i did wear them.
my new red shoes that is.
i wouldn't go that far.
but i did wear them.
my new red shoes that is.
today i...
woke up.
put my black n white dress on,
followed by my new red shoes.
stood on the toilet bowl of my bathroom to get a full length view of my outfit.
went into the kitchen to see what Rachel thought.
"are they too much?" i asked.
she kind of thought so.
she said i should try my other new pair.
but i insisted that they just wouldn't do.
they have a hole by my toes and i was wearing tights.
and i just can't ever seem to wear shoes with holes by the toes in the winter.
with tights.
they are for the summer i think.
so i told Rach that no matter what, they are going to be like BAM.
they are bright red.
so putting that aside, i asked her again...
"they don't look bad, do they?"
we...or i...finally decided to just go for it.
went to church.
hung out with the kids and talked about temptation.
met my parents.
picked up Kait,
enjoyed church sermon.
dropped Kait and Bethany off in town.
drove to Olive Garden.
enjoyed a nice lunch with my parents.
i don't know where i am going with this.
i don't really want to write my entire day out, minute by minute, like this.
so i shall stop.
woke up.
put my black n white dress on,
followed by my new red shoes.
stood on the toilet bowl of my bathroom to get a full length view of my outfit.
went into the kitchen to see what Rachel thought.
"are they too much?" i asked.
she kind of thought so.
she said i should try my other new pair.
but i insisted that they just wouldn't do.
they have a hole by my toes and i was wearing tights.
and i just can't ever seem to wear shoes with holes by the toes in the winter.
with tights.
they are for the summer i think.
so i told Rach that no matter what, they are going to be like BAM.
they are bright red.
so putting that aside, i asked her again...
"they don't look bad, do they?"
we...or i...finally decided to just go for it.
went to church.
hung out with the kids and talked about temptation.
met my parents.
picked up Kait,
enjoyed church sermon.
dropped Kait and Bethany off in town.
drove to Olive Garden.
enjoyed a nice lunch with my parents.
i don't know where i am going with this.
i don't really want to write my entire day out, minute by minute, like this.
so i shall stop.
i did have a nice time with my parents today. i'm glad they visited.
Happy Anniversary mom and dad. love youz
just watched America's Funniest Home videos and the Duggars.
was successful with not doing homework today.
was not quite as successful as being useful/productive like i had hoped.
i'm thinking i might be in bed by 10pm tonight.
tomorrow is Monday.
kind of boo to that.
wish i was more excited for Mondays.
i should work on that.
oh, i am forgetting another detail about my red shoes.
and i promise, enough about the red shoes in one minute.
but i knew insecurities would come up today.
i knew at least one person would make a comment.
cough. cough.
like my dad.
and mom.
RIGHT when i entered the car they both made a comment.
that made me rethink me decision of wearing them and buying them.
and rethink my new like for red.
i wish i could remember all the jokes my dad made today about the stinkin shoes.
like how maybe i would find a guy with them.
or how i should have kait paint them black.
or liek the italian flag with red white and green.
or other things that i can't even think of, there were so many.
he was not a fan.
nor was my mom.
bbuuttt India was my first fan.
then Kait. thank God for her.
she "gasped" apparently when she noticed them.
and that made me sigh a sigh of relief cause she is Kait.
and stinkin stylish.
usually the person i say can get away with wearing anything.
so there was a good balance between her gasp and my dad's comments.
and i kind of concluded that my dad just doesn't have taste.
and he doesn't have to like them.
or my mom.
as long as i do.
and i do.
and Samm even says they are "me" tonight.
which surprised me because to be honest, i wish they were really "me."
but i'd say i am more so trying to be someone else by wearing them.
like someone who is confident enough to wear bright red shoes.
like Stephanie Nielson (my new inspiration.)
all because of the end of one Oprah episode i saw over break.
and i just love her.
anyways, maybe by continuing to wear them i will one day feel like they are indeed "me."
that will make me glad.
well i am off.
to bed.
well no, really to read.
and then bed.
goodnight.
truly,
Virginia
Happy Anniversary mom and dad. love youz
just watched America's Funniest Home videos and the Duggars.
was successful with not doing homework today.
was not quite as successful as being useful/productive like i had hoped.
i'm thinking i might be in bed by 10pm tonight.
tomorrow is Monday.
kind of boo to that.
wish i was more excited for Mondays.
i should work on that.
oh, i am forgetting another detail about my red shoes.
and i promise, enough about the red shoes in one minute.
but i knew insecurities would come up today.
i knew at least one person would make a comment.
cough. cough.
like my dad.
and mom.
RIGHT when i entered the car they both made a comment.
that made me rethink me decision of wearing them and buying them.
and rethink my new like for red.
i wish i could remember all the jokes my dad made today about the stinkin shoes.
like how maybe i would find a guy with them.
or how i should have kait paint them black.
or liek the italian flag with red white and green.
or other things that i can't even think of, there were so many.
he was not a fan.
nor was my mom.
bbuuttt India was my first fan.
then Kait. thank God for her.
she "gasped" apparently when she noticed them.
and that made me sigh a sigh of relief cause she is Kait.
and stinkin stylish.
usually the person i say can get away with wearing anything.
so there was a good balance between her gasp and my dad's comments.
and i kind of concluded that my dad just doesn't have taste.
and he doesn't have to like them.
or my mom.
as long as i do.
and i do.
and Samm even says they are "me" tonight.
which surprised me because to be honest, i wish they were really "me."
but i'd say i am more so trying to be someone else by wearing them.
like someone who is confident enough to wear bright red shoes.
like Stephanie Nielson (my new inspiration.)
all because of the end of one Oprah episode i saw over break.
and i just love her.
anyways, maybe by continuing to wear them i will one day feel like they are indeed "me."
that will make me glad.
well i am off.
to bed.
well no, really to read.
and then bed.
goodnight.
truly,
Virginia
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Everything RED
I have been dreaming of the color red lately.
Well, not really.
But i have been admiring the color red lately.
and people who wear red.
like red lipstick.
and red dresses.
and red shoes.
and red nail polish.
you get the idea.
well anyways,
i have been wanting to start wearing red myself.
i'm not quite sure i can pull it off.
or that i will have the confidence to try and pull it off.
but today, i happened to go for it.
i bought myself not one, but two pairs of red shoes.
(don't worry, totaling a whopping $20.)
yah i know, crazy! $15 for one pair.
$5 for the other.
how could i resist a pair of shoes for $5??
i am already second guessing one of the pairs of red shoes.
and second guessing the red lipstick i bought.
cause everyone always seems to notice when i wear lipstick.
well how can they not, especially when it is red?
but still, i get insecure when they ask me about it.
i feel like maybe i shouldn't be wearing lipstick.
but is there really a big deal?
i'm not sure.
so tomorrow is my parent's wedding anniversary.
24 stinkin years.
how are they spending it?
driving 2 hours to Amherst.
attending Mhouse with me.
driving to Springfield to go to the Olive Garden.
dropping me off.
driving 2 hours home.
I am determined to find some "date" ideas for them as they are becoming a very boring couple.
got any suggestions for simple/inexpensive date ideas?
be thinking.
as will i.
i am off to bed.
crossing my fingers for red lipstick tomorrow.
for red shoes tomorrow.
and for red nail polish tomorrow.
and for not comments to make all my insecurities come up.
i just want to be able to wear red and be ok with it!
night,
V
Well, not really.
But i have been admiring the color red lately.
and people who wear red.
like red lipstick.
and red dresses.
and red shoes.
and red nail polish.
you get the idea.
well anyways,
i have been wanting to start wearing red myself.
i'm not quite sure i can pull it off.
or that i will have the confidence to try and pull it off.
but today, i happened to go for it.
i bought myself not one, but two pairs of red shoes.
(don't worry, totaling a whopping $20.)
yah i know, crazy! $15 for one pair.
$5 for the other.
how could i resist a pair of shoes for $5??
i am already second guessing one of the pairs of red shoes.
and second guessing the red lipstick i bought.
cause everyone always seems to notice when i wear lipstick.
well how can they not, especially when it is red?
but still, i get insecure when they ask me about it.
i feel like maybe i shouldn't be wearing lipstick.
but is there really a big deal?
i'm not sure.
so tomorrow is my parent's wedding anniversary.
24 stinkin years.
how are they spending it?
driving 2 hours to Amherst.
attending Mhouse with me.
driving to Springfield to go to the Olive Garden.
dropping me off.
driving 2 hours home.
I am determined to find some "date" ideas for them as they are becoming a very boring couple.
got any suggestions for simple/inexpensive date ideas?
be thinking.
as will i.
i am off to bed.
crossing my fingers for red lipstick tomorrow.
for red shoes tomorrow.
and for red nail polish tomorrow.
and for not comments to make all my insecurities come up.
i just want to be able to wear red and be ok with it!
night,
V
Dear Darla,
I hate your stinkin guts.
You make me vomit.
You are ssccuumm between my toes.
Love,
Alfalfa
You make me vomit.
You are ssccuumm between my toes.
Love,
Alfalfa
Friday, January 29, 2010
8 degrees.
Ha. for some reason, that just reminded me of Eminem's movie 8 mile.
Anways, 8 degrees is the temperature i woke up to today. Good thing i randomly noticed the weather on my phone this morning (unlike usual mornings) and thought to change my thin gloves to my warm mittens, and wear a scarf. boy was it shivering cold today. especially by that darn library of ours. it only took seconds near the library to make me want to cry, literally. i never experienced cold before walking the campus of UMass in the winter time in all the wind tunnels. it is no fun.
Tonight:
-had dinner with Chels. yummy black bean/cheese quesadillas, salsa, and sour cream. so good i think i may buy more ingredients tomorrow to make some more tomorrow
-movie with Chels and Kait. Must Love Dogs. definitely enjoy it :) but would you have guessed any differently from the title? me, dogs, love, chick flick, comedy? no better combination
Truly,
VA
Anways, 8 degrees is the temperature i woke up to today. Good thing i randomly noticed the weather on my phone this morning (unlike usual mornings) and thought to change my thin gloves to my warm mittens, and wear a scarf. boy was it shivering cold today. especially by that darn library of ours. it only took seconds near the library to make me want to cry, literally. i never experienced cold before walking the campus of UMass in the winter time in all the wind tunnels. it is no fun.
Tonight:
-had dinner with Chels. yummy black bean/cheese quesadillas, salsa, and sour cream. so good i think i may buy more ingredients tomorrow to make some more tomorrow
-movie with Chels and Kait. Must Love Dogs. definitely enjoy it :) but would you have guessed any differently from the title? me, dogs, love, chick flick, comedy? no better combination
Truly,
VA
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Oh, The Notebook
Say I'm a Bird...
Oh, Rachel McAdams.
Why can't i have your face?She's just so darn beautiful.
Especially in this movie.
with her dresses.
I wish i could look like her.
I someday want to wear dresses more often.
Like stinkin Loreali and Rory Gilmore too.
They always wear dresses.
Anways, enough about that.
The Notebook is on in the background.
I'm drinkin tea that i let get too cold.
and that i probably put too much sugar in.
And I just painted my nails red.
Tomorrow is Friday- [the weekend]
YAY :)
Plans:
- Homework. Friday, if necessary. And Saturday, til i am finished with all that is due Monday. that way i can "rest" on Sunday like we talked about at church this past week. Rest as in not saving all my homework til that day and being stressed/loaded with work i could have worked on earlier if i had not wasted all of my time. Rest as in reflecting. Rest as in journaling and reading and spending time with God. Rest as in watching America's Funniest Home Videos and Extreme Makeover Edition. Not sure all of that is the resting we talked about in church, but that is how i intend to spend my Sunday.
- Possibly Panera. maybe i should save my money though.
- Possibly buy a pet fish to put in a special jar. Samm gave me a handful of glass jars for Christmas this year and I have been trying to find a way to use them all. One has a red lid and is a decent size jar and I thought (I think to Rachel) "what can i do with this? what can i put in here?" And if I am remembering correctly (if she was actually a part of this thought process) we concluded on a fish. So i just might go ahead and do that at some point. Get myself a pet fish that I can wave at with my index finger and who i can give a good home to. I'm just thinking about it a lot because i think i am more excited to use my jar than i am to actually have a pet fish, and that should not be how it goes. I must really want to take care of a fish and not just have an excuse to use my jar, you know? This is kind of serious. it is a live creature, in my hands. and i want it to be in good hands.
- should get some groceries.
- church.
I am only tlaking about "this journey" because for my Jr Year writing class (yes, as my last semester Senior year) i had to write a paper on my "future plans." and in it i talked about how i'm on a journey to adulthood. i'm somehow in the process of becoming a "grown up" i guess. even though it is looking a lot differently than i had expected/planned out as a child.
i am off.
and wondering why is it that everytime i paint my fingernails i always have to go to the bathroom, minutes after. it's like my body knows i can't use my fingers to wipe. so either i decide to hold off so i do not smudge the nails OR i go for it and risk smudging.
Truly,
V
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
So Long, Facebook.
You have been deactivated.
But i am concerned with how strong the temptation will be to reactivate you, considering all it takes is a simple login with my email and password and I'm back to the same ol thing.
But I'm saying goodbye to you for now.
You no longer serve me like you used to.
I used to login and connect with people.
I used to have fun looking at pictures and leaving goofy wall comments.
I used to sign out feeling a little bit better aboutt my day, having connected with people i care about.
But now, all i do is get depressed when i login.
I tend to just go from person to person, comparing my life to theirs.
I tend to not appreciate my life and the things i have, being too focused on what others seem to have.
And it is just not beneficial to my soul. to my spirit. to my joy. to my relationship with Christ.
So I'm done. at least for a while. i pray for a while, at least.
I really needed to do this.
For me, but more importantly, for God.
There are so many other things I can be doing with my time. One, spending time with him.
It just stinks that i have taken it this far cause facebook is a pretty good thing.
i wish i could go on normally, and connect with others, but right now, i just can't.
so please, please, please...don't tempt me.
But i am concerned with how strong the temptation will be to reactivate you, considering all it takes is a simple login with my email and password and I'm back to the same ol thing.
But I'm saying goodbye to you for now.
You no longer serve me like you used to.
I used to login and connect with people.
I used to have fun looking at pictures and leaving goofy wall comments.
I used to sign out feeling a little bit better aboutt my day, having connected with people i care about.
But now, all i do is get depressed when i login.
I tend to just go from person to person, comparing my life to theirs.
I tend to not appreciate my life and the things i have, being too focused on what others seem to have.
And it is just not beneficial to my soul. to my spirit. to my joy. to my relationship with Christ.
So I'm done. at least for a while. i pray for a while, at least.
I really needed to do this.
For me, but more importantly, for God.
There are so many other things I can be doing with my time. One, spending time with him.
It just stinks that i have taken it this far cause facebook is a pretty good thing.
i wish i could go on normally, and connect with others, but right now, i just can't.
so please, please, please...don't tempt me.
Now off to write a paper, eat more Cape Cod Salt n Vinegar chips, and dinner at Becca's.
Truly,
V
Truly,
V
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, and more rain.
Today it rained. A LOT! when i walked out of my apartment and stepped outside, it smelt like Spring. probably cause it was in the 50's. crazy! i know that cause my snazzy new phone tells me the weather. i'm still not used to it though and still miss my redberry.
i tried to appreciate the rain today. i was glad i had my rain boots on, that's for sure. the puddles were more like little rivers some places on campus. at one point i was even laughing at everyone else as they were laughing at how RIDICULOUS the weather/rain was. while trying to shield ourselves from the blowing wind in our faces, it seemed that for quite a few people. the only thing we could do was laugh. and that is a good thing
i truly have never seen so many umbrellas in one day. umbrellas that were being use by people. umbrellas that were being blown inside out because of the crazy wind. and umbrellas that were just thrown to the ground, no longer wanted by their owner, probably because they too went inside out and no longer worked. that is one bummer about rain/umbrellas on campus...with the crazy wind on campus, especially near the library... umbrellas almost always break.
question/frustration of the day: why won't my itunes work? and why wouldn't the stinkin printer at the library print anything I wanted it to print today?
i don't want to use this blog as a way to complain/vent but i am giving in today.
now on to write a paper about my future plans...
truly,
Virginia
i tried to appreciate the rain today. i was glad i had my rain boots on, that's for sure. the puddles were more like little rivers some places on campus. at one point i was even laughing at everyone else as they were laughing at how RIDICULOUS the weather/rain was. while trying to shield ourselves from the blowing wind in our faces, it seemed that for quite a few people. the only thing we could do was laugh. and that is a good thing
i truly have never seen so many umbrellas in one day. umbrellas that were being use by people. umbrellas that were being blown inside out because of the crazy wind. and umbrellas that were just thrown to the ground, no longer wanted by their owner, probably because they too went inside out and no longer worked. that is one bummer about rain/umbrellas on campus...with the crazy wind on campus, especially near the library... umbrellas almost always break.
question/frustration of the day: why won't my itunes work? and why wouldn't the stinkin printer at the library print anything I wanted it to print today?
i don't want to use this blog as a way to complain/vent but i am giving in today.
now on to write a paper about my future plans...
truly,
Virginia
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Touch, Touch, Touch. Day 4
Real quick,
I may be the only person on Earth who hates change so much... to the point of getting sad over a new cell phone. I am so used to my red blackberry that this new touch phone is almost making me want to cry because there is so much to get used to. all over again.
I may also want to cry because I move back to Amherst tomorrow, start nanny-ing for a family I do not know on Monday, and start classes for my final semester on Tuesday. All this change always kills me, every semester.
Why in the world does change do this to me?
Truly,
Virginia
I may be the only person on Earth who hates change so much... to the point of getting sad over a new cell phone. I am so used to my red blackberry that this new touch phone is almost making me want to cry because there is so much to get used to. all over again.
I may also want to cry because I move back to Amherst tomorrow, start nanny-ing for a family I do not know on Monday, and start classes for my final semester on Tuesday. All this change always kills me, every semester.
Why in the world does change do this to me?
Truly,
Virginia
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
107.9, Day 3
"Kiss 108"
This is the radio station my little cousins Ashlee and Amanda always want to listen to when they are in the car. And since I had dinner with them, my mom, and Aunty June tonight, this is what we heard in the car since both of them just had to ride with their favorite cousin and Aunt and ditch their mom on the way to the 99 :)
Me and my mom both look at each other when certain songs come on and say "What are we listening to?" But I'm sure she enjoys it more than my preference for Country 102.5 and we all know my cousins do not enjoy my favorite radio station. Cause if they did enjoy it, they wouldn't always insist on Kiss 108 everytime we hang out. and I mean everytime.
This is the radio station my little cousins Ashlee and Amanda always want to listen to when they are in the car. And since I had dinner with them, my mom, and Aunty June tonight, this is what we heard in the car since both of them just had to ride with their favorite cousin and Aunt and ditch their mom on the way to the 99 :)
Me and my mom both look at each other when certain songs come on and say "What are we listening to?" But I'm sure she enjoys it more than my preference for Country 102.5 and we all know my cousins do not enjoy my favorite radio station. Cause if they did enjoy it, they wouldn't always insist on Kiss 108 everytime we hang out. and I mean everytime.
Highs of the day:
*Visiting my nana. My aunt put bobby pins in her hair and for some reason, they looked so funny and me and my mom just started cracking up.
*Amanda telling me about how her bus driver left her today when she ran off the bus to get a napkin cause she had a bloody nose. Good thing the stop she hopped off at was one where people knew her and they could call for her mom. My poor aunt and cousin Ash almost panicked for a second when the door of the bus shut without any Amanda coming off. The story was pretty funny, especially when I try to imagine Amanda's face when she ran out of the building only to find that her bus had left w/o her. The story isn't that funny because she actually cried, but it's funny now cause she can laugh about it and also because I know she is perfectly safe.
*Dinner at the 99 and taking Amanda to the bathroom not once, but twice. The second time in which she told me it was going to be a while cause it was "stuck"- if you know what I mean.
Now I'm off to a sleepover. YES, on a school night. Amanda and Ash are playing "hookie" tomorrow and spending one more night with me before I go back to school.
Plans for tomorrow-
Wake up.
words from Amanda right this instant "Wake up of course at like 12." Apparently she thinks I sleep in, huh? She's right, but not tomorrow.
Go to Dunkin for breakfast. Supercuts to get a hair cut. Old Navy. Visit mom at her work. Lunch at some point. Hang out doing who knows what else for the rest of the day until they leave with their dad at 3:30.
Truly,
Virginia
*Visiting my nana. My aunt put bobby pins in her hair and for some reason, they looked so funny and me and my mom just started cracking up.
*Amanda telling me about how her bus driver left her today when she ran off the bus to get a napkin cause she had a bloody nose. Good thing the stop she hopped off at was one where people knew her and they could call for her mom. My poor aunt and cousin Ash almost panicked for a second when the door of the bus shut without any Amanda coming off. The story was pretty funny, especially when I try to imagine Amanda's face when she ran out of the building only to find that her bus had left w/o her. The story isn't that funny because she actually cried, but it's funny now cause she can laugh about it and also because I know she is perfectly safe.
*Dinner at the 99 and taking Amanda to the bathroom not once, but twice. The second time in which she told me it was going to be a while cause it was "stuck"- if you know what I mean.
Now I'm off to a sleepover. YES, on a school night. Amanda and Ash are playing "hookie" tomorrow and spending one more night with me before I go back to school.
Plans for tomorrow-
Wake up.
words from Amanda right this instant "Wake up of course at like 12." Apparently she thinks I sleep in, huh? She's right, but not tomorrow.
Go to Dunkin for breakfast. Supercuts to get a hair cut. Old Navy. Visit mom at her work. Lunch at some point. Hang out doing who knows what else for the rest of the day until they leave with their dad at 3:30.
Truly,
Virginia
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Eminem knows MY name. Day 2
Well not really. But in my dream he did.
At some point this morning, I remembered a random dream I had last night where I walked into some room and there was Eminem. And for some odd reason, he was like "Hi Virginia." He may have even said my last name too and I was like "How in the world do you know who I am?" I forget most of the other details. I just remember that I was hanging out with him for quite some time and even had a crush on him.
That isn't so out there though because I used to have 2 posters in my room when I was in high school and thought he was "hott." I even talked about those posters when my youth group came to my home for a Cribs Edition. Oh goodness.
Such a FUNNY video that was. I get embarrassed watching it now and still like to close my eyes and block my ears when I show it to others. Don't ask me what I was wearing in it either! you'd think I would have dressed up for the video just a tad...meaning at least gotten out of my mens sweatpants from Aeropostale and would have wanted to look like I didn't just wake up. but not me haha.
What did I show them in my home? I first showed them my junk cabinet in the kitchen, where all my friends know the goodies are at. Then I showed them what was in my fridge, including disgusting looking, poop-like pea soup. Then it was off to my ghetto dining room that was bright pink at the time, and my ghetto heaters that Anthony made fun of. We then went to my "parla" where Amanda, Tiff, and Marissa were all watching/fake crying to A Walk to Remember. And then on to the attic where I showed them my pool table, ping pong table, air hockey and fooz ball. And then my poor Thunder and Lightning of course, had an appearance and even sat/gave me their paws for a bone. Best of all, Marissa punching the punching bag, pretending it was the face of some pretentious girl that Luke liked, and then Luke himself. Oh yah. I can't forget Amanda banging at the bathroom door to have Marissa get out, only to see Marissa opening and spraying down the room she stunk up, and her saying, in slow motion "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." I am smiling now thinking about all those little moments.
Then my room, which was the room everyone was waiting to see. bright yellow with light blue trimming, and clouds on the ceiling, which are still there to this day. P.Dan focused on the posters which included Eminem (like I already mentioned) and get this...Aaron Carter. how pathetic was I? Gosh! and they are like the complete opposite too. But I justified my Aaron Carter poster by saying I couldn't take it down until I got a new poster to replace it. ahhh goodness.
Best part of my room at the time: CANDY MACHINE! and i mean a legit candy machine that my dad got who knows where. He would always stock up the machine before I had any parties/sleepovers (which seemed to be frequently). It had four sections and contained Skittles, Starbursts, Mike and Ikes maybe? I'm forgetting what else!
I would have been Mary Oakman's best buddy if we had known each other then...simply because of the candy stash alone.
And it was for freeeeeee. best part was the top came right off and we could slip our hand in and pick out a whole hand-ful. It was glorious :)
This is making me want to watch the video all over again. I hope I haven't lost it in the shuffle of bringing it to school and back. I'd be so darn sad!
That is enough about Eminem/Cribs/youth group days. Don't want to get all sad missing those times. Cause I can do that so easily.
My dear friend Megan Smith (from Nebraska- which I always like to add) sent me a book called Just Do Something by Kevin DeYOUNG. I already know it is going to be very helpful to me when it comes to making decisions and being in God's will.
Listen to the opening paragraph of this book:
It is God's will for you to read this book. Yes, I'm talking to you. What are the odds that you would "just happen" to pick up this and flip open to this page and start reading? obviously it's a sign. Of all the millions of books in this world, you found this one. Wow. I have chills. Do not pass up this divinely orchestrated moment. If you miss this moment there's a good chance you will completely miss God's will for the rest of your life and spend your days in misery and regret.
At some point this morning, I remembered a random dream I had last night where I walked into some room and there was Eminem. And for some odd reason, he was like "Hi Virginia." He may have even said my last name too and I was like "How in the world do you know who I am?" I forget most of the other details. I just remember that I was hanging out with him for quite some time and even had a crush on him.
That isn't so out there though because I used to have 2 posters in my room when I was in high school and thought he was "hott." I even talked about those posters when my youth group came to my home for a Cribs Edition. Oh goodness.
Such a FUNNY video that was. I get embarrassed watching it now and still like to close my eyes and block my ears when I show it to others. Don't ask me what I was wearing in it either! you'd think I would have dressed up for the video just a tad...meaning at least gotten out of my mens sweatpants from Aeropostale and would have wanted to look like I didn't just wake up. but not me haha.
What did I show them in my home? I first showed them my junk cabinet in the kitchen, where all my friends know the goodies are at. Then I showed them what was in my fridge, including disgusting looking, poop-like pea soup. Then it was off to my ghetto dining room that was bright pink at the time, and my ghetto heaters that Anthony made fun of. We then went to my "parla" where Amanda, Tiff, and Marissa were all watching/fake crying to A Walk to Remember. And then on to the attic where I showed them my pool table, ping pong table, air hockey and fooz ball. And then my poor Thunder and Lightning of course, had an appearance and even sat/gave me their paws for a bone. Best of all, Marissa punching the punching bag, pretending it was the face of some pretentious girl that Luke liked, and then Luke himself. Oh yah. I can't forget Amanda banging at the bathroom door to have Marissa get out, only to see Marissa opening and spraying down the room she stunk up, and her saying, in slow motion "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." I am smiling now thinking about all those little moments.
Then my room, which was the room everyone was waiting to see. bright yellow with light blue trimming, and clouds on the ceiling, which are still there to this day. P.Dan focused on the posters which included Eminem (like I already mentioned) and get this...Aaron Carter. how pathetic was I? Gosh! and they are like the complete opposite too. But I justified my Aaron Carter poster by saying I couldn't take it down until I got a new poster to replace it. ahhh goodness.
Best part of my room at the time: CANDY MACHINE! and i mean a legit candy machine that my dad got who knows where. He would always stock up the machine before I had any parties/sleepovers (which seemed to be frequently). It had four sections and contained Skittles, Starbursts, Mike and Ikes maybe? I'm forgetting what else!
I would have been Mary Oakman's best buddy if we had known each other then...simply because of the candy stash alone.
And it was for freeeeeee. best part was the top came right off and we could slip our hand in and pick out a whole hand-ful. It was glorious :)
This is making me want to watch the video all over again. I hope I haven't lost it in the shuffle of bringing it to school and back. I'd be so darn sad!
That is enough about Eminem/Cribs/youth group days. Don't want to get all sad missing those times. Cause I can do that so easily.
My dear friend Megan Smith (from Nebraska- which I always like to add) sent me a book called Just Do Something by Kevin DeYOUNG. I already know it is going to be very helpful to me when it comes to making decisions and being in God's will.
Listen to the opening paragraph of this book:
It is God's will for you to read this book. Yes, I'm talking to you. What are the odds that you would "just happen" to pick up this and flip open to this page and start reading? obviously it's a sign. Of all the millions of books in this world, you found this one. Wow. I have chills. Do not pass up this divinely orchestrated moment. If you miss this moment there's a good chance you will completely miss God's will for the rest of your life and spend your days in misery and regret.
This made me chuckle and sigh a sigh of relief.
now read the following paragraph in the book:
now read the following paragraph in the book:
Now that I've scared you, let me acknowledge that everything in the previous paragraph is total baloney. It's bunk. Not true at all. Actually, I don't know if it's God's will for you to read this book. But I do think that reading it could be a really good idea.
Sometimes I hate hearing people say things like "God told me to do this..." Actually, I don't want to continue to say I hate things because it is not that intense but it sometimes bugs me to hear people say things like that. Maybe part of it is because I'm jealous and like "really? well gosh God, you don't speak to me like you do them. or I just have a lot of wax in my ears/can't seem to hear from you." And then I feel all bad and confused about my life. But other times it just seems to be that people too often use phrases like "God told me this" or "God wants me to go here" when all along it is really because they just want to do it. OR, I always wonder how they are so certain about these kinds of statements. I am included in this though. But why don't we just say "Actually, I'm not sure if this is what God wants for me right now. But it seems like it could work. It is something that interests me. These are the pros. So why not? I'm going to try it out!" I'd appreciate it so much more if people were just honest about not knowing exactly what God wants. Because there seems to be a select few who always know what God wants them to do, even if it means that God changes his mind drastically from month to month, and then there are others who don't hear from God in that way and just seek guidance and wisdom from others. I feel like I sound bitter about this, and maybe I am, because I tend to be a bitter person (need work on this) but I just get annoyed with all these Christiany sayings like "God called me here. God told me this. God opened this door." blah blah. I don't doubt that God can do this. It's definitely not that. And I don't doubt that God does do this in some circumstances. But I am beginning to think that maybe God gives us choices. We have endless opportunities and maybe there is not just this one straight path to follow to "be in God's will." Because if that is the case, because of our tendencies to mess up and sin on a minute to minute basis, we would never be going down the right path and never be living according to God's will. But instead, I think like this book is going to say, God uses everything. Even the wrong decisions. And instead of just waiting around to hear from God, we need to
Just do something.
Pray. Seek Guidance. Use our brain. Make a move. See where it takes us.
Pray. Seek Guidance. Use our brain. Make a move. See where it takes us.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Hello Better Thoughts
In an attempt to spend less time on facebook and more time on just about anything else...(beneficial to my soul)...I am going to try and blog?
Pretty crazy idea because any one reading this will soon see that I can barely speak proper English, I cannot write, and I am not the greatest speller. yikes. I don't know what I am thinking!
Just kidding- (for all of you Judy Grimes fans)
I do know what I am thinking. I'm thinking that I spend wwaayy too much time on facebook. And this time usually leaves me feeling down in the dumps and depressed about my life because all I do is compare. And this is a problem for me. A HUGE problem, and for many reasons. One being that I spend too much time focusing on the lives of others and less time actually living my own. I tend to just mope in what I do not have. I mope in how "lame" my life is all because I still have homework every night and... biggest of all- I am not married. so terrible, huh? In actuality, I know this is not true. But this is how I feel too often and I am sick of it/determined to change this way of thinking.
Pretty crazy idea because any one reading this will soon see that I can barely speak proper English, I cannot write, and I am not the greatest speller. yikes. I don't know what I am thinking!
Just kidding- (for all of you Judy Grimes fans)
I do know what I am thinking. I'm thinking that I spend wwaayy too much time on facebook. And this time usually leaves me feeling down in the dumps and depressed about my life because all I do is compare. And this is a problem for me. A HUGE problem, and for many reasons. One being that I spend too much time focusing on the lives of others and less time actually living my own. I tend to just mope in what I do not have. I mope in how "lame" my life is all because I still have homework every night and... biggest of all- I am not married. so terrible, huh? In actuality, I know this is not true. But this is how I feel too often and I am sick of it/determined to change this way of thinking.
Instead of continuing focusing on what everyone else has and that I do not have, I am going to try and use this blog as a tool to help me focus on the things going on in my own life: The things I do have. The things that happen in my day to day that make me smile or make me think. The fun times I have with others or the things that make me laugh. The little/big things that make me thankful- Thankful for what it is in general, and simply thankful for life.
Why? Because...
I need to be more thankful.
I need to appreciate life as it is.
I need to care.
I need to embrace each day.
I need to enjoy the moments I have.
I need to be present.
I need to start living.
and
I hope to smile and laugh more often.
I hope to make others smile and laugh more often.
I hope to encourage others.
I hope to listen.
I hope to pray. Pray with out ceasing.
I hope to serve.
But why in the world has this become so stinkin' hard for me?
Why? Because...
I need to be more thankful.
I need to appreciate life as it is.
I need to care.
I need to embrace each day.
I need to enjoy the moments I have.
I need to be present.
I need to start living.
and
I hope to smile and laugh more often.
I hope to make others smile and laugh more often.
I hope to encourage others.
I hope to listen.
I hope to pray. Pray with out ceasing.
I hope to serve.
But why in the world has this become so stinkin' hard for me?
Not sure. But with a lil' change of thinking and a change of focus, I believe I can, and will- enjoy.
Side note- all those "I's" aren't doing me any good.
As I was writing, I was thinking: Oh goodness! that is another problem you got going on Virginia. Stop focusing on yourself.
Life is not about me, me, me, me, and me. I must remember this.
Now I am off. I could write forever. but I am going to end with one stupid thing I am thankful for each night-
The Nanny.
I am thankful that every night (until they decide to air a different show, at which point I will be extremely sad, just like I was once they stopped airing Roseanne and Home Improvement) at 11pm, I can turn on Nick at Night and know that the Nanny will be on. I can lay in bed, get sleepy, laugh at Fran's interactions with Mr. Sheffield, and fall asleep to the sounds of the show. I just love the show!
Truly,
Virginia
Side note- all those "I's" aren't doing me any good.
As I was writing, I was thinking: Oh goodness! that is another problem you got going on Virginia. Stop focusing on yourself.
Life is not about me, me, me, me, and me. I must remember this.
Now I am off. I could write forever. but I am going to end with one stupid thing I am thankful for each night-
The Nanny.
I am thankful that every night (until they decide to air a different show, at which point I will be extremely sad, just like I was once they stopped airing Roseanne and Home Improvement) at 11pm, I can turn on Nick at Night and know that the Nanny will be on. I can lay in bed, get sleepy, laugh at Fran's interactions with Mr. Sheffield, and fall asleep to the sounds of the show. I just love the show!
Truly,
Virginia
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