Embracing

i have a hard time enjoying life sometimes and it is so unnecessary.
and i mean so unnecessary.

too often i am ashamed of my bad attitude and perspective.
but this is my prayer-

i pray to be on a journey with God, repenting from my envy of what others have.
and i pray to be on a journey, learning and choosing to embrace what i have.
what i have because for some crazy reason God thinks it is just right and good for me.
what i have right in front of me. what i have surrounding me.
what my days are full of instead of what i think they are lacking.

there's so much beauty around me, i know it. i know it's there.
i just need to look for it and keep focus on it.
i need to find the beauty and be thankful for it.

i need to seek Him
instead of all the other things i desire greater
because he's the only one that matters.

i really pray to be satisfied by him.
i really pray to experience such deep intimacy with him that truly nothing else matters.
i tend to think these things are impossible but i pray to experience otherwise.
i want to know his deep love for me and not only believe it but know that it makes all the difference in my life.
i want to find joy in him.
and life from him.

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some things i'm remembering and recognizing today:

i know Amherst is good. i know it is a blessing to be here. i know my years in this town have changed my life forever. i know this is such a special time of my life.

i'm especially thankful for my house and my 2 roomies right now.
i know that if i were married and living off somewhere sharing a place with only one man i would not be able to share the laughs and jokes that i get to share with Jenn and Kait this year.
i would not walk into my room after a weekend in Ogunquit to find a random plastic easter bunny sitting by my closet. it just wouldn't happen. only Kait would put that in my room...along with the leprosy looking vegetables hidden in my bed and drawer. as well as the talking/graduating chicken that me and Jenn have been hiding in eachother's rooms.
this is truly such a fun time.
i really do have such a sweet thing going for me.
it is only when compared to the lives of others when i tend to lose sight of how good and special and green things are on my side of the lawn.

it's such a nasty cycle that i pray to remove from my life.
so please Lord, be working with me on this.


thank you for what you do have for me, whatever that may look like.
please forgive me for my concerns with what others have and for my lack of thankfulness.
please be working on my heart and be walking with me, hand in hand, on this journey to deeper intimacy and love for you.

Banana Bread

i'm not sure there's anything that beats the smell of banana bread baking in the oven!
seriously.

Jenn had a loaf baking in the oven and with my bedroom door open it was the greatest whiff coming straight into my nostrils ;)

thank you Jenn!

now i'm off to taste a bite.
really hoping the Sour Cream that you added to the mix tonight
(having a sell by date of September 26 and having been open for weeeeeks now)
really isn't all that bad. because i'm really wanting to eat some bread.
w/o getting sick.



this is when i really wish foods could talk to us...
like yell to us when we open the container "Hey Jenn, i'm weeks old! throw me out! right now. hurry. don't even think about it."

or

say a little something like "Hey Virginia, i know you think i'm old because i have been sitting in the fridge for 3 days now but trust me...take a whiff and see...you can eat me. i'm not bad yet. i'll tell ya when."

my life would be so much easier.
i wouldn't have to call my dad to ask him how long it takes for salami to go bad.
(according to him, never)
and i wouldn't have to always be asking my roomies to be taking whiffs of things for me.

Lyrics

Really loving the lyrics of Tenth Avenue North.

Times

Beloved

Satisfy

By Your Side

it's as though these songs were written specifically for what i'm feeling lately.

go listen if you wanna.

Dog Lovin

i do not like movies where dogs die.
period. they're just too sad.
whatever the movie- if there is a dog that plays an important role in the film i end up spending the entire movie worrying about whether the dog is going to die or not. and when i predict it is going to die, then i end up spending the entire rest of the movie waiting for it to happen. and it's just not fun.
sometimes i am better with it and can actually finish the movie despite my worries.
but other times, like while watching I Am Legend, i have enough of it and decide it's too much to watch. not for me. i love dogs too much and don't wanna spend the rest of the day thinking about it.

sometimes telling myself "Virginia, it is just a movie...don't worry - the dog really didn't die" just doesn't do it for me.

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ohh, how i'd love a dog right about now. my heart aches for my very own.
to love. to talk to. to cuddle and sleep with. to laugh at. to smooch on. to go for walks with.
[a lab, golden retriever, great dane.]
those are a few of the ones i'd gladly choose from.

and my new favorite breed: boston terrier.
just within the last few days i have seen the faces of these pups and they make my heart melt.
lil one looks like a mini Scooby.


how can you resist these faces??
seriously! just looking at these pics makes me so glad.




please oh please oh please.
Lord, can you have a dog waiting just for me within the few years? if not sooner?