Psalm 103

  Let all that I am praise the Lord;
      with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
  Let all that I am praise the Lord;
      may I never forget the good things he does for me.
  He forgives all my sins
      and heals all my diseases.
  He redeems me from death
      and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
  He fills my life with good things.
      My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

  The Lord gives righteousness
      and justice to all who are treated unfairly.
  He revealed his character to Moses
      and his deeds to the people of Israel.
  The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
      slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
  He will not constantly accuse us,
      nor remain angry forever.
  He does not punish us for all our sins;
      he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
  For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
      is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
  He has removed our sins as far from us
      as the east is from the west.
  The Lord is like a father to his children,
      tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
  For he knows how weak we are;
      he remembers we are only dust.
  Our days on earth are like grass;
      like wildflowers, we bloom and die.
  The wind blows, and we are gone—
      as though we had never been here.
  But the love of the Lord remains forever
      with those who fear him.
   His salvation extends to the children’s children
     of those who are faithful to his covenant,
      of those who obey his commandments!
  The Lord has made the heavens his throne;
      from there he rules over everything.
  Praise the Lord, you angels,
      you mighty ones who carry out his plans,
      listening for each of his commands.
  Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels
      who serve him and do his will!
  Praise the Lord, everything he has created,
      everything in all his kingdom.
   Let all that I am praise the Lord.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

reminding myself of how i ought to be praising him.

in this psalm alone it says it so many times - "let all that i am praise the Lord."

but reminding myself will not do me much good if i then do not choose to praise him.

the state of my heart is too often such disaster that i don't just praise him for who he is,

that i don't just gladly praise him out of love and adoration for him.

and for this i am in need of much forgiveness.

so this is another prayer of my heart - for my heart to be continually changing and softened.

i'm praying that i will not harden my heart as he is calling.

i'm praying that as he is calling, i will have ears to hear his voice.

that i will recognize his voice. recognize his care for me.

Listen, O heavens! Pay attention, earth!

this is what the Lord says:

"The children I raised and cared for have rebelled against me. Even an ox knows it's owner, and a donkey recognizes its master's care - but Israel doesn't know its master.

My people don't recognize my care for them."

Isaiah 1:2-3

i read this a few days ago and it hit me.

i pray to know my master. to recognize his care for me.

to put aside my rebellion and worship him.

Today when you hear his voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.

Hebrews 3:15

i'm praying for understanding as i read about his compassion and mercy.

about his forgiveness and unfailing love.

how he is slow to get angry and how will not constantly accuse me or stay angry with me forever.

i need to remind myself of these things and take them to heart. know that they are true and believe them.

they are not just words on a page. they are truth.

what the heck don't i understand about these things? why don't i just get it?!

i liked "The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him."

i pray to have the right kind of fear for him.

and to know and accept the kind of love he has for me - love like a father would have for his child.

what gets me is that i know the love of an earthly father. i have been so blessed with a dad who loves me and goes out of his way to do special things for me just to show that he cares. but for some reason, i don't see God like this. nevermind the ultimately more because God's love is so much greater than my dad's love for me ever could be.

so i pray to know him.

i pray to diligently seek him that way i can actually know him.

i pray for my heart.

that he will be diligently working on it.

taking it out. giving me an extreme makeover - heart addition.

tearing things down. rearranging things. cleaning it up. removing the mess and ugly.

and rebuilding into something new.

something beautiful simply because he is the one rebuilding it.

this verse gives me much hope.

Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. and I will put my spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.

so have at it, Lord. sprinkle the water on me and make me clean. wash away my filth and help me as i work on this whole idol worship thing. please give me this new heart you talk about, and this new spirit. Take my old, stubborn and stony heart out. remove it - i don't need it. and replace it with this tender, responsive heart you talk about. place the new spirit in me so that i will follow your decrees and be careful to obey your regulations.

amen.