I CARRIED A WATERMELON?!?!?!

please tell me you've seen Dirty Dancing.

oh how i love Dirty Dancing! it is definitely my longest-favorite movie of all time.

i wish i knew how many times i have seen it because it would be a lot.

i often laugh with my friends when the topic of Dirty Dancing comes up. or Disney movies. because i always tell them that while they were all watching the Little Mermaid or the Lion King, i was watching Dirty Dancing.

{yes...probably 4-years old.} in fact, what i really wish i knew is not necessarily how many times i have seen the movie but how old i was when i first saw it.

so ya, while they all quote every Disney movie and sing every theme song, i can never join in.
because i was the little girl watching Dirty Dancing.

i was the little girl pulling out my couch so that i could try to walk on the back of it like Johnny and Baby do on the log.

and i'm still the girl who will put the DVD in the player or go to youtube just so i can watch the last 5 or so minutes of the movie...the scene i wait for while watching the entire movie.

when Johnny says "nobody puts Baby in a corner" and grabs her hand to take her to go dance on the stage.

and i'm still the girl who pathetically can get tears in her eyes when i hear the final song and wish and pray that someday i'll dance to that song at my wedding. i'm not saying i have to do the whole dance, although that would be so freaking cool and i've seen it done on youtube.
BUT i definitely want that to be my last song of the night.
"now i'veeeeee had the time of my lifeeeee....and i owe it all to youuuuuuuuuu!"

a girl can dream.

ANYWAYS! enough about the end scene.

if you've seen the movie before you can remember the scene where Baby sneaks out one night and finds Johnny's cousin (who i forget his name now! what a fan i am!) walking up to where all the "dirty dancing" takes place. and up the stairs he is carrying 3 watermelons.

eventually Baby take one and is led up into the room which much surprise at what all happens after work hours are over.
and Johnny walks in, eventually saying about how she got there and she responds with
"i carried a watermelon."

and i just love her face afterward and her embarrassment as she says to herself "I carried a watermelon?!?!" because this is often my life.

i get nervous. say something ridiclous. and then afterward say it back to myself with such horror and embarrassment.

example:

so here's a little story. i sent this email to my friend Kait weeks ago knowing that she'd get a kick out of it.
hopefully you can understand the way i talk because that is the way i type -
often not making any sense to anyone unless you can actually hear me saying it as you read.

{so the man taking the shredded bins is here and just introduced himself to me. he was telling me he was gonna go bring the other bins down and come back for the rest... yada yada. and he says something like "ok and then I'll be right back, Virginia" -- (he was acknowledging my name because of my name thing on my desk.) and then he says something about his name being Rafael and shakes my hand, introducing himself. and then says "you have beautiful eyes by the way…" and I say "thank you, you do too…I've been noticing them." OH MY WORDDD.. I've been noticing them?! that's like in dirty dancing when she says "I CARRIED A WATERMELON???!!!"}

fyi: he did have beautiful eyes. beautiful enough that it probably wasn't odd for me to point them out in response to his compliment. he was hispanic and had eyes that he shouldn't have is the only way i know how to describe it. the dark skin with like clear crystal blue/green eyes. you don't see that everyday. and when you do, they stand out. apparently enough to make me notice them.

more than once! haha

so there was my "I carried a watermelon?!?!" moment.

i was freaked because a) i was talking to a guy and feeling like he was being extra friendly and i have issues and b) he was complimenting me and i got nervous...therefore making c) my nervousness got the best of me making it extra easy to say something stupid.

so i went on to tell the story to my friend and co-work Katy and we laughed together.

and i go on to tell the story here so i can laugh some more.

the thing is is that he DID have beautiful eyes. where i went wrong was with how i worded it in a panic...

i had not been NOTICING them. although yes, i DID notice them. just once though.

this is what happens when I'm nervous. and there's nothing to be nervous. he's simply saying something nice about me but I just almost freak a little everytime something like that happens.

and to top it off, to end it on the same kind of note:

he says to me as he is leaving the office- 

"you're really beautiful by the way."

and i awkwardly say thank you. twice. once looking at him i think?! and the other not looking at him, but nervously looking down. and then he waves to me as he's getting in the elevator.

story of my life.

story of a 14 year old (if that) being stuck in the body of a 23 year old.

for now.

i will get better at this.

and for now i will just try to make you laugh with me.