Lovely Lightning:
Lightning, I’ll pretend you are human and I’ll write this to you, as I reflect on all the years spent with you. But then again, you pretty much were human – as stubborn as can be. You were human because you just “knew” sometimes. You knew like a human would, when things weren’t good. You just were almost human, it’s so hard to explain. Out of all our dogs, you were most like human and a part of the family, and least like just our pet.
So I reflect on the past 14 and ½ years. Just how routine it was to see you everyday. And that’s why it’s so sad coming in the house after leaving you at the vet and not seeing you. I was looking for you on the dining room floor or on the couch but you were nowhere to be found. It’s so odd and sad.
Man. I don’t remember much about you when you were a pup. I do remember I was in the 3rd grade and I think one time I took you out in the driveway and dropped you or something. And I was afraid I was going to get in trouble so I don’t think I told anyone.
I remember that once in your day, you were skinny and buff! But that soon faded as you aged and we got other dogs and your main concern was food. You fought for it and were so concerned. This I never understood because it was not as though you have never been fed before and or that you weren’t ever going to be fed again. You eventually became very plump. Fat, actually. No offense. And then you even became lumpy. Why? I have no idea. Tumors? Maybe! Who the heck knows. I just know you acquired quite a few pounds and lumps along the way.
And I remember you also used to have dark brown spots but I can’t seem to remember them very well. It’s hard to believe you were once skinny and not graying unless I look back at old pictures and say “dang! You’ve aged!”
I remember when you were younger and you’d sleep with me, you’d do this weird digging thing with your paw to make me move my legs so you could sleep right in the middle of them! It was very uncomfortable actually, but because I loved you so much I’d always put up with the discomfort to have you so close to me. And you were comfortable, so that was that.
I loved so much that you ALWAYS knew when things weren’t ok. Maybe that’s what all dogs do but then again it’s not what Scoob and Gracie did so I think you were just special. Like mom was saying to you earlier, you always knew when she was feeling sad and you’d just come to her and be by her side and kiss her. And the same with me. You’d sometimes kiss me or even paw me/claw me down just so you could get those kisses in to wipe away my tears. Dang you were special. Truly. What a blessing you were.
And when things got rough in the house and loud and a little out of control with fighting, you’d always come running in my room shaking on the bed. You hated when we fought.
You also HATED, despiseddddd baths. Come on Lightning! You were always such a baby, it was unbelievable. One sound of the word “bath” and you were up shaking and running out of the room. We’d have to almost hold you down in the bathroom and bribe you with a bajilion bones.
And your ears! “Lightning…I’m gonna clean your ears!!” and up you went running again, as though it was torture for you. Maybe it was. But it just doesn’t seem so bad. Sometimes we’d say it to you just to mess with you and it was funny. Sorry for that. You were just too much of a baby though, it was hard to resist.
You know what I loved? Seeing John come home and everyday, you were the first one he greeted. And that’s what he was saying he was going to miss about you most. That there’s no one else you come home to that is always excited to see you. But you Lightning, you were that one thing.
Remember you used to get so excited to see us that you’d wag your tail so hard and intensely that it would bleed from hitting the kitchen stove? You poor thing! We’d have to try to calm you down once we saw the tip of your tail all bloody.
Oh and gosh! Remember you’d stinkin PEE ON MY BED from excitement when John thought it was funny to show his friends “hey look guys, I can get my dog to pee on my sister’s bed when she’s really excited and it’s so funny…look” and then he’d say something like “Lightning! PEE ON VIRGINIA’S BED. PEE ON VIRGINIA’S BED” and our came the pee, onto my bed. Ya, disgusting! Thanks Lightning! NOT! I wonder just how many mattresses I had because of you. Either tearing them to pieces or peeing on them.
I was often annoyed at this but really loved that whenever I had my friends over you always had to come out from mom and dad’s room and be with me and my girlfriends! You were just one of the girls. You loved us and loved being a part of all the excitement.
Remember when you used to HUMP my PILLOW? Ya, I do! Lightning, you are a girl. Why are you humping?
I remember the time one of John’s friends thought it would be funny to put the pool triangle thing around your head. Well that was funny only until you decided to try to walk down the attic stairs with it on and ended up falling down the stairs. And then mom and dad come running out all mad and I think make everyone leave and I don’t even remember how they got it off your head.
Speaking of your head, you poor thing. Just how many times did you have to go to the vet for either some ear problems or because your sister decided she wanted to attack you to the point of almost killing you, over like a water bottle, and you were left with holes all over your poor head. I really thought you were going to die that last fight. I think will always be the most horrific thing I have ever witnessed. I’m so glad you didn’t die that day, but instead hung around for almost 3 more years. I swear this is what you were thinking towards Grace that day “LISTEN BII--ATTCH!! I ain’t going anywhere!! Attack me all you want but this was my home first!” and then you hung on until somehow, miraculously, she let go. And then since then, you’ve stubbornly hung on because I don’t think you could bare the idea of leaving us. And now I don’t know how I can think about life without you.
You just make up my childhood. I can’t think of my life without you. You are and always have been a part of it. You’ve been around for more than half of it and now it’s so sad to think about you not here.
But I’m left with a piece of you, always. In my heart, that’s for dang sure, but also all around your room. Why’s that you may ask? It’s because I have your freaking white fur infested ALL over my room. I came home to see it on my dark blue pillow today and was reminded of how sad it’s going to be to not have you around. Part of me was annoyed that after living in Amherst all these years and for the first time ever, having a bed w/o the smell of dog and the fur as evidence, I now had to deal with it all over again. But as much as I wasn’t the biggest fan of those things, I wouldn’t ever take back all the times sleeping in a bed with you for a nice and always fresh smelling bed. So ya, I’ll be reminded of you for the next who even knows how long because I bet even if I move out someday I will still be finding your fur all over my things. I would find it at college. I swear sometimes I would be eating in the dining common and look down and be like “how is Lightning’s fur on my food?!? Here? In Amherst!” It just traveled far.
You know that sometimes I felt bad for how pathetic you looked and must have felt with that dang huge-ash cone on your head! It musta been embarrassing, huh? For all the other dogs to walk by and look through the gate and be like “what’s up with her? Why is she always having to wear that cone? Wait…wasn’t she in that last summer too?” – ya, you were. But it’s cause you loved to attack your rear end area until you would bleed and have no more fur and raw, so that was the only solution. Although I’m sure it wasn’t the only solution. I’m sure you could have been bathed more or had some flee medicine or something but it sure did do it’s job, just at the expense of your reputation.
Oh man I’m just thinking of the summer and how odd it will be to not have you in the backyard anymore. Always annoyingly crying by the picnic table for some meat. Always running around and lately within the past couple years, panting and resting a lot more. But when you weren’t lounging you were always eating grass and trying to catch flies. That kept you in shape.
And the hose! It was so fun spraying you with the hose because you always loved it so much. You loved being sprayed in the mouth and attacking the water. You’d come leaping for it sometimes. I can just hear your teeth hitting e/o as you’d bite down on the water. You loved to do that. That, and wait for the water from the pool to come overflowing from the filter and we’d yell at you to stop drinking it.
You went in that pool a few times, but were never a fan, as much as I wanted you to be.
And summer days eating popsicles. I loved sharing my popsicles with you. And feeding you your bones. And always asking you to sit and give me your paws. You were good.
Lightning, you really were the best with our other animals. Well especially when they were puppies/kittens. You were always momma Lightning. I always thought you would have made the best momma dog, you just had those instincts. It has been especially fun seeing you interact with our new kitten and watching you play with her. I’m glad I have those videos I took on my ipod most recently, just licking the cat to death. And I always loved seeing you interact with Oreo. I think one of the saddest things right now is thinking of Oreo later, wanting to come in the house looking for you. To cuddle with you and lay in between your two front paws just so he is as close to you as he can be. He’s fresh sometimes and not so friendly to the kitten, but with you! I swear he thinks you’re his mom or something. You’d always let him suck your mouth until the point of being too annoyed and then you’d get up and move. He loves you. I’m thankful for some of the cutest pictures of you guys literally spooning.
Even though I hated letting you out in the middle of the night (not like I had to do it often, I’ve been gone for so long now, but even still—letting you out can be so annoying!) I sure will miss it now that you’re gone. Although you took the longest time! You took your sweet time doing who knows what and sometimes I’d have to go out and retrieve you and grab your collar, yelling at you probably. You never seemed to care when I told you to hurry up.
I still keep thinking about a few days ago when I was taking a shower and a couple fireworks go off. I finish my shower and open the curtain to you! Just sitting on the bathroom floor cause you must have gotten scared so you somehow banged the door open. I was not expecting you there at all! But it was a nice surprise.
I loved kissing you. Especially your ears, when they were cold. Probably to the point of annoyance for you. And I loved blowing in your face until you tried to bite my tongue. It was so cute. We always had so much fun.
I’m just gonna miss you so much. Your presence in the house. It won’t be the same without you. But I’m so thankful for all the joy you’ve brought. I just never expected this day to come, silly as it seems. Well actually I felt like it would be coming soon, but I just can’t believe all of a sudden you’re not here. I knew your time was coming, you were getting up there! You were definitely a grandma. But I just can’t believe it.
I’m glad you were outside with us as we were playing badmitten last night. I knew there was no way we were going to all be outside without you. That’s the thing. You were so stubborn you’d cry til you got your way. And because you were so annoying and loud when you cried and didn’t let up, we’d always just give in.
I remember just a couple weeks ago you trying to get on my bed but couldn’t. And even though I tried to help you, right before I grabbed you to give you a lift it was as though you just knew it was too much. And in the same exact second, it was so odd, we both thought to go get your bed. So you walked over to it in the living room as if to sleep out there but I dragged it into my room and plop you went. You slept on my floor for the night. But I’m thankful (as much as I was annoyed at the time because you’d wake me up from my precious sleep) for the times in the past few weeks where you’d come in and cry for some help up on my bed. It was so odd seeing you like that. It was so evident you had aged. And sometimes I would laugh because you looked so pathetic as your legs wiggled and I wouldn’t even be able to help you I was laughing so hard. But then other times I’d be like “come on babe. Just jump up, I’ll help ya.”
For some reason I called you “babe.” Don’t ask me why, but I did. I don’t know when I started but it just came out. And I remember thinking “man I hope I can call a man babe sometime. And that it sounds just as normal as me calling you babe” haha
I will miss you dearly, my lovely Lightning. I will miss coming home to you. I will miss getting down on the floor to just lay with you and kiss you. I will miss your eyes. I’m sure I’ll miss you trying to get food from the cabinet as I’m looking for a snack, as much as that annoyed me too. Dang, you sure did annoy me. But I just have so much love for you because of it. And you will be missed by so many more. SO many more.
But I have loved you and have a place for you in my heart. And I am thankful for the possibility of a new place in my heart for a new addition to our family. Never to replace you, but only for another chance to love another dog like we have loved you. Because it has been a true joy and gift.
I’d say you have had a pretty dang good life. Lots of food. LOTS of food. Many steak tips stolen from the table when we weren’t looking. And many more given to you as you sat by our side waiting for all the scraps or fatty pieces that me and mom wouldn’t eat. You were spoiled, that’s for sure.
That’s all I can think of for now. I love you lightning. And sure do hope there are some wet noses at the pearly gates, yours being one of them.
Thanks for the gift you have been. And thanks for the unconditional love you have given. For that I am truly thankful.
And while I’m thinking of the positive, I’m thankful to have been home and not in Amherst when this happened. And I’m especially thankful to have all gone as a family to see you off.
Love you babe,
your sister.
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