F-R-I-E-N-D-S and God

it's been a while and i have not blogged as often as i have wanted to.
but i'm skipping over some major things for now [like my stinkin college graduation]
and jumping to tonight.

tonight.

because i don't want to forget this night.

tonight was truly a beautiful night.
a night full of special friends and God's presence.
a night full of talking to God.
a night full of tears and thankfulness and laughter.


this blog entry is being written for my own sake so that i can look back and remember.
so i can remember how it felt to actually talk to God and feel like i was being heard.
so i can remember the power of prayer.

So, Virginia- a month from now, a year from now...
Remember this night.

Remember the appreciation you felt. appreciation for friends and God's presence.

because for so long now you have felt dead inside. spiritually dead. like you couldn't pray. like you couldn't be heard from God. like you couldn't reach Him. like it was all stupid at times. like you didn't even care enough for others to pray for them.

but tonight was not like that.
tonight you gathered around the Meadow St. living room with 6 other friends of yours.
and you prayed. prayed for each girl specifically.
and it felt so good. so refreshing.

You, Rachel, Katy, Becca, Kait, Alexandra, Jenn (and we prayed for Sarah)

some things i want to remember from tonight:

• there is a cost to following Jesus- tonight i was just touched by the sacrifice Allie is making for the next year of her life. she mentioned how she has "accepted"a lot of things about the trip. like the fact that it is going to be physically challenging and it's going to hurt. her stomach is going to hurt from the different foods and she is not going to like a lot of it. her body is probably going to ache from all the hard labor she will be doing. she is going to be stripped of all her comforts. ALL of them. she will be taking cold showers, she will be smelly and sweaty and hot. she will be lonely and without family and close friends. she will be w/o a car and w/o tv and living out of a tent. she will be w/o basically everything she is used to. but that is the price she is willing to pay to follow Jesus. and it just brought me to tears hearing about what she is accepting because she is so brave. she is going to need to rely on God like i have never before. she is going to truly need his strength to get through each day. i can just go on and on talking about this but i won't. i just want to be reminded of how i feel right now when a time comes and i am not up for following where God may lead me. Virginia, remember it is going to cost you. it is going to be a sacrifice. but the rewards are far greater than the costs. the reward for following Jesus to the places he may lead you are far greater than what you may have to give up. he will do mighty things in your life. he will be present. he will be with you and he will guide you. because he loves you deeply.
• reconciliation- tonight as it was time to pray for me, Kait and Jenn (because we are the 3 staying in Amherst,) Kait mentioned the word reconciliation in her prayer. she mentioned how at some point last year she hated the word. and so did i. but she went on to thank God for where he has brought us. last year was easily the worst time of my life and the most painful thing i have ever experienced. it was where i saw the most ugliness come out from within me and it was just so hard. hard to love. hard to accept. it was really painful and many tears were shed. and i just thought it was the end of my friendship with Kait. but God surprised me. it turned out that he was indeed in it all, working things through. he was working on things in my heart as well as Kait's. and he brought us back together again. he took us on a road of reconciliation and i'm so thankful that we are excited about... for that, truly. a year ago now i left school thinking i may never talk to Kait again. and tonight as i'm writing this blog i await the day we move in together in just a few short days. and we have plans--WHAT? are you kidding me? (this is what i'm thinking right now...i would have never imagined) but it's true. only God could do something like this. i really believe it.
  

Only God could turn something that broken into something Beautiful again.
Only God is capable of picking up the broken pieces and glueing them back together.

and that's just what he does in our lives.
he does it with relationships.
he does it in our own lives and hearts.
he takes things that are broken and makes them beautiful again.
and we ought to be so thankful for that.

So, thank you Lord.
thank you for being faithful to take the broken and put it back together.
thank you for friendship and the power of prayer.
thank you for being "So Good" like Katy mentioned tonight.

and Virginia-
PRAY.

like you said in prayer tonight, it would be just so stupid if you don't.
so stupid.
why wouldn't you just go to him and pray?

and as Jenn said, remember to cleave to Him.

and Lamentations 3. read it