Dear God,

i can't seem to gather my thoughts and actually focus right now.
i can't seem to pray with passion or with belief.
but even in my disbelief, will you hear my unformed prayers.
and will you be present with my Auntie Debbie in a way that she has never experienced before.
i ask that you'd be with her in a way that she can feel.
take away some of her pain.
comfort her with peace.
and please show her your love for her in such an immense way, even in this terrible time.
let her look into your eyes and see a glimpse of your love and care and concern for her.
be her strength, i ask.

and do just the same, if not more, for my uncle Al and cousin Brianna.
draw them to a place that is so near to you.
hear their cries and their prayers.
show them your unconditional love for them, and let them see you do indeed care.
help them to see you in this time.

and do above and beyond my stupid, unformed thoughts and prayers. i pray your will is done. but admit i am not sure i trust in your will and your ways. will you open my eyes, big time. to see the bigger picture and to see where you are working and how you are working things out. will you be softening my heart, that way i can believe in you more and trust. will you forgive me for my lack of trust in you, and for my lack of passion for anything about you. will you forgive my heart for all of its ugliness.

i ask for this in Jesus name.